Jenny & SteffieLife for us had become very routine. I was still a lonely, fat housewife and Frank was still the hard worker. Jennifer on the other had was a delight. She was so fun and loving. She was outgoing and very popular in the neighborhood. She would ride her Big Wheel up and down the sidewalk making friends with all the neighbors sitting on their front porches. She loved people. She always had friends but wasn't one to entertain herself. She adored having an audience to watch her silly antics. She was my sole reason for living. I adored her, Frank adored her. We made a lot of mistakes in life but she wasn't one of them. Some might said that she was an 'accident' because we weren't married at the time, but I assure you she was always planned in my heart.
She was becoming very independent also. My life was so revolved around her that I had lost myself. I can remember one day she went in the bathroom and ran her own bath water. It was at that time I knew she no longer needed me. I was so sad. She was growing up and she was only 4 years old. I had always thought that I could only love one child. I didn't want to take any of my love for her and share it with another child. Now watching my baby turn into a little girl I suddenly wanted to do it all over again.
Frank and I didn't have sex very often so I had to approach him with my new desire to have another baby. He had lost all attraction to me and my new 200lb body. He agreed to try to have another baby. It didn't take long at all and I was once again pregnant. I was thrilled but scared too because I was so overweight.
The doctor that had seen me with my first pregnancy was no longer delivering babies. I had to go to a group of 4 doctors and I found that to be unnerving. I was never at ease because I saw a different doctor every time. It was very common to wait for hours to see the doctor. Most women actually packed their lunch in anticipation of the long wait. I felt that whole office was rude to me. I felt very inferior because of my weight. I remember sitting in the exam room once and the nurse had left my chart on the table. I peeked inside and across the entire front page was the word OBESE written in bright red letters. I was mortified. I never asked questions I just wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible.
During my pregnancy this time, I didn't have the usual morning sickness and the things that go hand in hand with expecting. Instead I was in a car wreck, got poison oak twice, and stung by 3 bees that summer. It was really strange. I had pulled weeds on the side of our house because we were going to paint it. The weeds turned out to be poison oak! I wasn't able to take anything for it because I was pregnant. It was miserable. I was also out there with Frank painting the house. Something that is a big no no now for pregnant moms. I had terrible allergies and used nose spray everyday just to breath. I did a lot of things that they have found to be very bad now!
My baby was due on December 17th, and my sister Linda, who was also pregnant, was due the first part of December. We we sharing our pregnancies together it was great fun. Linda delivered her daughter on December 1, 1972. Linda & Bob were living in Kansas City when Michelle was born. I was so disappointed when she had her baby first, I wanted to be first! My baby would follow 2 weeks later on December 15, 1976.
Frank and I still could not decide a name for a son. We actually stopped at a book store on the way to hospital to buy a book of baby names! I knew if I had a girl I would name here Stephanie. I had always wanted to name her Stacie until I was at the bowling alley one day and I heard a mother call to her little girl. "Steffie, come here". I changed my mind right then and there, it would also honor our friend Steve. Ann would be the middle name the same as mine.
I just never had a desire for a son. I think maybe that comes from being around only girls all my life. I didn't know how to play with little boys. I wasn't good at sports or things that interest little boys. Even when I was on the delivery table before the baby was actually born, they said it was a boy for sure by the heart rate. I think I must have willed her to be a girl!
With Stephanie I had really bad back labor pains. The pain with Jennifer had been all in the front. As painful as that was, it was nothing compared to the pain I had in my back. I begged Frank to rub my back while I was in the labor room. He said he would, as soon as he finished the sports section of the newspaper. That time never came, but at least this time we didn't have a telephone in the room! I had a wonderful nurse that had six children of her own. She taught me 'Lamaze for Dummies' in a matter of minutes.
My doctor was in the delivery room but I had never meant him before. He didn't even speak to me. I think I repulsed him. He check me once and they thought maybe he had broke my water by doing so. But in a disgusted tone I heard some say, "it's just urine!" I was embarrassed feeling like I had wet myself. The doctor at one point even reached over and slapped one of the delivery nurse's on the butt, leaving a bloody hand print. They all laughed, I was horrified. I just wanted to get the baby out so they would go away. I breathed with the pain, I huffed and puffed and finally delivered my baby girl. I was only in labor for
2 1/2 hrs! I still at that time, did not know the sex of the baby. I just knew it was a huge baby! I didn't even ask the sex after delivery. All I said was, "How much does that baby weigh"? They cleaned her up and weighed her, she weighed a whopping 9lb 5oz!
Once again I was in a great deal of pain from the delivery. When I was her precious little face it was worth all of the pain. She looked nothing like Jennifer did at birth. I was shocked. I just knew they would look exactly the same. Stephanie had a fair complexion and light blond hair. Now when Frank & I stood looking in the nursery window with the other parents we heard..."Look how big that baby is!" I was embarrassed that I had had such a large baby. I had only gained 14lbs with her unlike the 42lbs I had gained with Jennifer. Most people just thought I was fat and didn't even know I was pregnant. When the other parents realized I was the mother they gave each other a 'knowing' nod. It just killed me.
While I was in the hospital I lost 17lbs in the first 2 days. It was wonderful. I felt like I was on the road to losing my weight. I had lots of stitches so we used heat lamps between our legs when in bed. We also had sitz baths to help heal the stitches. A sitz bath resembled a metal lawn chair without the seat. In place of the seat was a tub that was filled with warm water. You would sit in the chair and your bottom would sink into the water. It was very soothing. The nurse came to get me and my roommate to take our sitz bath. The room had 5 sitz bath chairs in it, 3 mothers were already seated in there. My roommate was a woman of average size, not overweight like me. The nurse had filled one of the chairs full of water for my roommate and mine was only half full because of my weight. When the nurse told us where to sit my roommate was not listening. She sat in my chair. What was I to do? I didn't want to make a scene so I sat in her chair. When I did that the water overflowed and ran all over the floor. It soaked through all of our slippers and onto our robes. All five of us sat in the room acting like it wasn't happening. It was humiliating. All of a sudden the 'Enema Nurse' came around the corner and saw the mess on the floor. She yelled at me that I had sat in the wrong chair. She ushered all of the other women out while silently waited in my overflowing chair. I felt like dying.
I went to my room and got dressed. I called Frank and told him to come pick us up. I had had enough of the hospital and I wanted go home. I called the nurse and told her I was going home to get the papers ready and bring me my baby. I think that was the first time I had been that assertive in a long, long time. As I was dressing Stephanie I noticed that she too had a birthmark on her upper back just like Jennifer. It was different because it was not brown in color and was sort of indented. It was until over 30 years later that I learned she was born with spina bifida not a birthmark! I am so glad that I was not tested or told she would have spina bifida before she was born. I probably would have considered an abortion. What a lost that would have been for all of us!
Frank did not take me straight home after leaving the hospital. We went to his brother's house to pick up big sister Jennifer. Jennifer was head over heels for her new baby sister. She adopted her that very day. Jennifer thought I had brought her a live doll to play with. I can't even tell you how helpful she was with Stephanie. She was forever running to get diapers, toys, bottles, anything she thought her sister needed. She used to push her around the house in her Tuff Stuff doll stroller!
When I walked in our front door of our home for the first time with Stephanie, I was overwhelmed with fear. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with her. I didn't know when to feed her or what to feed her. I couldn't remember anything. I took her into my bedroom and shot the door. I didn't want anyone to come in to the room. I stayed in there for hours. I think I must have had post-partum depression but I didn't know what was wrong with me. I think the depression lasted for a long time but I wasn't aware of it. I thought Stephanie wasn't as pretty as Jennifer was as a newborn. I thought people would laugh at her because she was so big. I didn't want anyone around us. I wanted to protect her from the world.
It was a very difficult time for me. Frank still did not help with diapers but he helped with the feedings. My sister wasn't around to help me with this baby. Jennifer stepped up to become her mother when I couldn't. She continued to mother her all of her life. She was my little angel.
She was becoming very independent also. My life was so revolved around her that I had lost myself. I can remember one day she went in the bathroom and ran her own bath water. It was at that time I knew she no longer needed me. I was so sad. She was growing up and she was only 4 years old. I had always thought that I could only love one child. I didn't want to take any of my love for her and share it with another child. Now watching my baby turn into a little girl I suddenly wanted to do it all over again.
Frank and I didn't have sex very often so I had to approach him with my new desire to have another baby. He had lost all attraction to me and my new 200lb body. He agreed to try to have another baby. It didn't take long at all and I was once again pregnant. I was thrilled but scared too because I was so overweight.
The doctor that had seen me with my first pregnancy was no longer delivering babies. I had to go to a group of 4 doctors and I found that to be unnerving. I was never at ease because I saw a different doctor every time. It was very common to wait for hours to see the doctor. Most women actually packed their lunch in anticipation of the long wait. I felt that whole office was rude to me. I felt very inferior because of my weight. I remember sitting in the exam room once and the nurse had left my chart on the table. I peeked inside and across the entire front page was the word OBESE written in bright red letters. I was mortified. I never asked questions I just wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible.
During my pregnancy this time, I didn't have the usual morning sickness and the things that go hand in hand with expecting. Instead I was in a car wreck, got poison oak twice, and stung by 3 bees that summer. It was really strange. I had pulled weeds on the side of our house because we were going to paint it. The weeds turned out to be poison oak! I wasn't able to take anything for it because I was pregnant. It was miserable. I was also out there with Frank painting the house. Something that is a big no no now for pregnant moms. I had terrible allergies and used nose spray everyday just to breath. I did a lot of things that they have found to be very bad now!
My baby was due on December 17th, and my sister Linda, who was also pregnant, was due the first part of December. We we sharing our pregnancies together it was great fun. Linda delivered her daughter on December 1, 1972. Linda & Bob were living in Kansas City when Michelle was born. I was so disappointed when she had her baby first, I wanted to be first! My baby would follow 2 weeks later on December 15, 1976.
Frank and I still could not decide a name for a son. We actually stopped at a book store on the way to hospital to buy a book of baby names! I knew if I had a girl I would name here Stephanie. I had always wanted to name her Stacie until I was at the bowling alley one day and I heard a mother call to her little girl. "Steffie, come here". I changed my mind right then and there, it would also honor our friend Steve. Ann would be the middle name the same as mine.
I just never had a desire for a son. I think maybe that comes from being around only girls all my life. I didn't know how to play with little boys. I wasn't good at sports or things that interest little boys. Even when I was on the delivery table before the baby was actually born, they said it was a boy for sure by the heart rate. I think I must have willed her to be a girl!
With Stephanie I had really bad back labor pains. The pain with Jennifer had been all in the front. As painful as that was, it was nothing compared to the pain I had in my back. I begged Frank to rub my back while I was in the labor room. He said he would, as soon as he finished the sports section of the newspaper. That time never came, but at least this time we didn't have a telephone in the room! I had a wonderful nurse that had six children of her own. She taught me 'Lamaze for Dummies' in a matter of minutes.
My doctor was in the delivery room but I had never meant him before. He didn't even speak to me. I think I repulsed him. He check me once and they thought maybe he had broke my water by doing so. But in a disgusted tone I heard some say, "it's just urine!" I was embarrassed feeling like I had wet myself. The doctor at one point even reached over and slapped one of the delivery nurse's on the butt, leaving a bloody hand print. They all laughed, I was horrified. I just wanted to get the baby out so they would go away. I breathed with the pain, I huffed and puffed and finally delivered my baby girl. I was only in labor for
2 1/2 hrs! I still at that time, did not know the sex of the baby. I just knew it was a huge baby! I didn't even ask the sex after delivery. All I said was, "How much does that baby weigh"? They cleaned her up and weighed her, she weighed a whopping 9lb 5oz!
Once again I was in a great deal of pain from the delivery. When I was her precious little face it was worth all of the pain. She looked nothing like Jennifer did at birth. I was shocked. I just knew they would look exactly the same. Stephanie had a fair complexion and light blond hair. Now when Frank & I stood looking in the nursery window with the other parents we heard..."Look how big that baby is!" I was embarrassed that I had had such a large baby. I had only gained 14lbs with her unlike the 42lbs I had gained with Jennifer. Most people just thought I was fat and didn't even know I was pregnant. When the other parents realized I was the mother they gave each other a 'knowing' nod. It just killed me.
While I was in the hospital I lost 17lbs in the first 2 days. It was wonderful. I felt like I was on the road to losing my weight. I had lots of stitches so we used heat lamps between our legs when in bed. We also had sitz baths to help heal the stitches. A sitz bath resembled a metal lawn chair without the seat. In place of the seat was a tub that was filled with warm water. You would sit in the chair and your bottom would sink into the water. It was very soothing. The nurse came to get me and my roommate to take our sitz bath. The room had 5 sitz bath chairs in it, 3 mothers were already seated in there. My roommate was a woman of average size, not overweight like me. The nurse had filled one of the chairs full of water for my roommate and mine was only half full because of my weight. When the nurse told us where to sit my roommate was not listening. She sat in my chair. What was I to do? I didn't want to make a scene so I sat in her chair. When I did that the water overflowed and ran all over the floor. It soaked through all of our slippers and onto our robes. All five of us sat in the room acting like it wasn't happening. It was humiliating. All of a sudden the 'Enema Nurse' came around the corner and saw the mess on the floor. She yelled at me that I had sat in the wrong chair. She ushered all of the other women out while silently waited in my overflowing chair. I felt like dying.
I went to my room and got dressed. I called Frank and told him to come pick us up. I had had enough of the hospital and I wanted go home. I called the nurse and told her I was going home to get the papers ready and bring me my baby. I think that was the first time I had been that assertive in a long, long time. As I was dressing Stephanie I noticed that she too had a birthmark on her upper back just like Jennifer. It was different because it was not brown in color and was sort of indented. It was until over 30 years later that I learned she was born with spina bifida not a birthmark! I am so glad that I was not tested or told she would have spina bifida before she was born. I probably would have considered an abortion. What a lost that would have been for all of us!
Frank did not take me straight home after leaving the hospital. We went to his brother's house to pick up big sister Jennifer. Jennifer was head over heels for her new baby sister. She adopted her that very day. Jennifer thought I had brought her a live doll to play with. I can't even tell you how helpful she was with Stephanie. She was forever running to get diapers, toys, bottles, anything she thought her sister needed. She used to push her around the house in her Tuff Stuff doll stroller!
When I walked in our front door of our home for the first time with Stephanie, I was overwhelmed with fear. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with her. I didn't know when to feed her or what to feed her. I couldn't remember anything. I took her into my bedroom and shot the door. I didn't want anyone to come in to the room. I stayed in there for hours. I think I must have had post-partum depression but I didn't know what was wrong with me. I think the depression lasted for a long time but I wasn't aware of it. I thought Stephanie wasn't as pretty as Jennifer was as a newborn. I thought people would laugh at her because she was so big. I didn't want anyone around us. I wanted to protect her from the world.
It was a very difficult time for me. Frank still did not help with diapers but he helped with the feedings. My sister wasn't around to help me with this baby. Jennifer stepped up to become her mother when I couldn't. She continued to mother her all of her life. She was my little angel.
