When Jennifer was first born we still lived in the one bedroom apartment that Linda and I had shared before we were married. I put Jennifer in a little bassinet next my side of the bed. My mother-in-law would call me every night to see how I had her laying in her bed. If she was on her stomach, she would smother to death but if I had her on her back she could choke to death if she vomited. I couldn't win. My sister, Linda was a great help. She was always over at our apartment helping me take care of the new baby and cleaning my house.
I would dress Jennifer at least six times a day. I tried on every outfit she had and then I would take her picture in it. She was like my very own living doll. She slept through the night by the time she was 2 weeks old. Back when she was little we fed our babies rice cereal at night so they would sleep. I fed her with an Infant Feeder which was frowned upon. Everyone told me she would never be able to eat from a spoon! She survived many things that are now considered toxic to babies.
Frank had been working as an oil change man for about six months. One day he had to change oil for the owner of Mueller Company in Decatur. He had to drive him back to his home while his car was being serviced. The owner talked to Frank and asked about his family. In the long run, he offered Frank a job working at the foundry. We felt like we had hit the lotto. His paycheck would end up being twice what we were used to making. It was a really dirty and hot job, but Frank never missed a day.
We found a two bedroom house to rent not far from his work. We took out a loan from the bank for $150.00 to buy a used color TV. We even had to have a cosigner! We bought a black vinyl couch that 'clicked' into a bed. We also found a black vinyl rocker that was torn in the back, but it was a great price. I made a black and red afghan to cover the torn spot. I bought bright red satin curtains with white sheers behind them to put in the windows. We even had a red and black braided oval rug to cover the wooden floors. We would have loved to have wall to wall carpeting but it was too expensive. I can remember thinking about how lucky we were to have such a great house.
We didn't do much for entertainment because Frank was really funny about being in public. He refused to eat inside of a restaurant because he didn't want people to watch him eat. So we would call our order in to the local Bonanza and eat it in Styrofoam containers in the parking lot in our car. He didn't go to indoor movies because he didn't want anyone to look at the back of his neck. He did finally after a few years, start going to movies but we always had to sit in the back row! Our entertainment consisted of riding up and down Eldorado Street cruising in our '68 Chevy Impala with Jennifer laying between us on the seat.
One thing that we did almost every weekend was to go to his brother's home and play cards. They had a little girl too. We would play Rummy for hours but it was never husband & wife against husband & wife, it was always women vs men. My sister-in-law and I would always win. We would laugh and tease the guys afterward. Frank hated that. One time when we got home, he yelled at me and picked up one of his racing trophy's and threw against the wall. It broke. I was scared to death. He left in a rage and drove around for hours. I laid in the bed and cried. I was afraid he was going to leave me. I didn't want to be alone. When he did finally come home he refused to talk to me. Not just that night but for days. I would beg him to talk to me, but he refused. I did everything I thought a good wife should do but nothing worked. Usually around Thursday he would start talking to me again, I was thrilled. I never argued with him, never yelled at him and certainly never talked back to him in the six years that we were married. I didn't want to be divorced, I wanted to be married. When Saturday came around we would once again go back to his brother's house to play Rummy. The girls would win and the same pattern would happen when we got home. He wouldn't talk to me from Sunday until Thursday almost every week. I would beg to not go to their house but it didn't matter we went anyway. It was a really hard time in my life.
When Jennifer was born, I weighed over 200lbs. The only weight I lost was the 7lbs 8ozs that she weighed. When Frank was at work I continued to eat secretly. I didn't want him to know what I was doing. I looked like a freak. I no longer resembled the girl in high school, the girl he fell in love with. I wasn't fun anymore, I lost myself. I lived and breathed for Jennifer, she was my ray of sunshine. She was growing so fast. She was a very independent little girl and loved to talk. She was the sweetest little thing on earth. She and Frank were best buddies. She loved when he came through the door after work. He loved playing with her. If he went somewhere she would be right behind him.
The only friends I had were his family and the wife's of people at Mueller's. Every night I had to take Frank his dinner at 7:30 to the parking lot at work. He didn't like to eat out and he didn't like sandwiches. I had to make him a hot meal every night. I would load the food and Jennifer into the car and off we'd go. I remember the TV show, The Walton's, came on during that time. I asked Frank if I could skip that one day a week so I could watch the program. He absolutely would not hear of it! I continued to meet him every night, until my second child was born.
Frank did not like socializing with anyone, but especially not with my family. One time he did agree to go to a cookout at my sister's house. I made potato salad and was bringing fresh tomatoes for everyone. Frank did not believe in helping me do anything. That included carrying groceries, laundry, baby items or baby...I did it all. He would sit in his chair and watch sports until I got the car loaded, then he would come out to drive the car. On this particular day, we were on our way to the cook out. I had loaded everything in the car and we driving down the street. I noticed that people outside were staring at us and pointing. I thought what on earth is wrong with them? I even mentioned to Frank that people were looking at us. He hated anyone to look at him. Pretty soon it was like they started throwing tomatoes at our car, I couldn't believe it! It wasn't until the bowl of potato salad fell on the hood of the car did I know what had happened. I had left the food on top of the car! Frank was furious. He turned the car around and went right back home. I was stunned. I cried as I once again unloaded the car and took Jennifer back inside. There would be no cookout for us. I never said a word, a good wife would just try to apologize to her husband. Once again he would not talk to me. I was so lonely, so very lonely.
