Jennifer & DaddyThe thing about Frank is that on outside he appeared to be the quiet guy. When I told people he frighten me, they would say Little Frankie?? Are you kidding me, he wouldn't hurt a fly. He was not physically abusive to me but he controlled me in other ways. The silent treatment would bring to my knees. I had no friends to talk with, so when he came home from work I was hungry for adult conversation. I had spent the day with Jennifer and all of the characters on Sesame Street. Frank would say he didn't want to talk, he had talked all day at work. I felt so alone.
Not all things were bad between Frank and I though. We were creating our own little family. We were often like two children together. Neither of us had had a very happy childhood so now we were able to experience some of those things. We often played games at night time drawing things on each others back with our fingers. The other one would try to guess what the object was. We would laugh and just have fun. We were not really sexual people so that didn't play a very big part in our life's. Sex between us was always one sided and it was more of a duty then the pleasure sex was meant to be. I being the good wife just kind of went along with that part of life.
I was continuing to gain weight from my secret eating habits. I had gotten into the habit of finishing Jennifer's food too. My clothes were tight and made of polyester so they could expand with me. I had two outfits that fit so I wore them over and over. I had one outfit that I would wear to the laundromat so I could wash the other two. I always had to take Jennifer to the laundromat with me because Frank wouldn't watch her when I wasn't there. She would tool around in her walker and make friends with everyone there. I think the best day of my life was when we went to Sears and bought a washer and dryer. We had to open a charge account and the payment was $20.00 per month. It was the same amount I had been spending at the laundromat. It was great to have my very own set. It was a Mother's Day present from Frank.
Frank and I were on our own in this big world. Sometimes we felt like it was 'us' against the world. We were very naive about a lot of things. My best example was when we bought our first home. At that time the interest rate was around 8%, so with taxes and insurance you could expect your house payment to be right at 10%. We bought our first house for $18,000, which is less than the car I own today! Our house payment was $173.00 per month and we were afraid we wouldn't be able to make it! I have to tell you we were the best buyers an agent could ever hope to meet. We did not want to bother people by going into their home to look at it. We actually bought the first and only home we ever saw! I didn't even realize that when the house had a sign in front of it that it was for sale. I thought it was where their business office was and there just lots of them around town! I cringe at the thought of that now!
I have to take a minute and describe our house. It was a Cape Cod, 2 bedroom, 1 bath, with a dormer upstairs that also had 2 more bedrooms. It had a fenced in back yard with a 2 car garage. The house was light turquoise trimmed in a dark blue turquoise. The living room was dark avocado, walls and carpeting, the kitchen chartreuse green walls, dark green trim and a brown tiled floor. The master bedroom had three white walls and one deep rose colored wall. The bathroom had lavender tiled walls with pink shag carpet but at least it had white fixtures. Jennifer's room was bright lavender and the playroom upstairs was bright blue. To complete this decorating experience the basement floor was painted pink! This was our new home and we were happy to have it.
I took to decorating right away. I found white satin curtains with flocked avocado green flowers for the living room. We had harvest gold appliances in the chartreuse kitchen to bring it right into the 70's. Jennifer's room had a white canopy bed with a pink and white polka dotted bedspread. The playroom now had the red braided rug from our old house. Our room was brought together by a flowered bedspread with roses. The other downstairs bedroom was going to be a baby's room if we had another child. It was the only 'normal' room in the whole house!
We didn't have central air conditioning back then, that was just for the rich people. We had a window unit in the living room that cooled most of the house. Jennifer slept downstairs in the 'baby's' room when we first moved there because it was too hot upstairs. My sister-in-law and I would take our kid's to Kmart and spend the day. They had air conditioning so we would stay there for hours. We would eat lunch at the cafeteria and attend all of the blue light specials. Sally would get in close to the blue light special when it started. I would stand back out of the way with the kids. When it started she would throw the items over to me while the others would dive bomb for them. It was a lot of fun. We used to refold the clothes on the end tables while we stood and talked. The kids would lay on blankets in the carts and take naps while we walked around.
Another one of my comfort zones was spending money. I wasn't able to control my life so I racked up all of our credit cards. I handled all of the bill paying so Frank never knew what was going on. I always knew when the credit card bills were coming so I would hide them before he could see them. I think he thought I was saving money all along but there was never anything left at the end of the week. I used to get sick to my stomach knowing that the bill was coming. I was afraid Frank might intercept it one day. He never knew what I was doing. I was still on my eating frenzy too.
I didn't know at the time that Frank was so controlling because of his fear of losing me. I didn't think he wanted to be with me anyway. I couldn't imagine anyone wanting me. He told me no one would want me and I believed him. He had very low self esteem also. He felt had to control me to keep me.
The Vietnam War was in full swing in those years. They had reactivated the draft. You had to register when you were 18 if you were a male. They had a lottery to decide who was going to be drafted. They had 365 balls with dates on them. It was held just like the Powerball lottery. They pulled a ball with a date on it and the people born on that date were called first. Frank's birth date was number 68 out 365, so it was very likely that he would have to go to war. I didn't want him to go to war so I talked him into joining the National Guard. If you were in the Guard you usually were not deployed to Nam.
Frank joined and a lot of people thought you were chicken if you did that. It was one step above going to Canada to evade the draft. Frank had to go to boot camp and training for 4 months, which was a short time away from home compared to 2-3 yrs service in the army. If he had joined a different branch he would have been in the infantry and on the front line of battle. He didn't have a High School diploma so he had no training to fall back on. He was able to get his GED while in training. As part of the Guard you were required to spend 1 weekend a month on duty and 2 weeks of summer camp for training. It seemed like the best fit for us.
Frank left for 4 months of basis and AIT. I wrote him almost everyday. I missed him but I also liked the freedom of not having him there too. Jennifer and I reconnected with my family and friends. It helped to pass the time. Mueller's held his job for him until he got back. We had to learn to live on a serviceman's paycheck. I ate a lot of TV dinner's back than. He always sent money home and kept very little for himself.
Frank went out on a double date with another private and some girls while he was away. They all went to see the movie Jerimah Johnson. I have always hated that movie since then. I couldn't believe he thought it was alright to go on a date. I think there was some hanky panky but I don't think they had sex. I was so hurt but I never yelled or got mad. I never forgot it either. Not only had he went on a date but he went in a movie theater and I doubt they sat in the back row!
When Frank came home he was different, distance. I think he must have had time to wonder if he had made a mistake marrying me. After time, we settled back into our routine of life. I looked forward to the weekends he was on active duty. I remember one time he was allowed to bring home on of the Jeeps. Jennifer was thrilled. All the neighbor kids came over to meet her daddy and see his Jeep. The 2 weeks at summer camp probably helped save our marriage for many years. I knew that if I could have just 2 weeks without him I could endure the 50 weeks in between.
