After my dad remarried, I went through yet another change. While he was gone on his honeymoon I decided it would be a good time to experiment with sex. I had never had sex or anything really very intimate before. I thought sex was interesting because it was forbidden and secretive. I thought maybe if I had sex I would feel pretty. Maybe boys would finally like me and want to go out on a date with me.
I had a friend also named Kathy, she had a brother named Mike. Kathy and I hung out a lot of the time. I spent lots of time at her mom's apartment. Her mom was sleeping with the landlord downstairs so we were alone most of the time in the apartment. Her brother had been flirting with me so I decided he was the one I would have sex with for the first time. It is so embarrassing to remember that first time. I used to make a lot of my own clothes so I made a pair of turquoise flannel jumpsuit pajamas with a zipper. Oh yes, for the glamour effect I added lace around the neck and sleeves. Oh did I mention, I also had my hair in sponge rollers, bright pink sponge rollers?
The apartment was very small just a kitchen and living room with a shared bathroom. Mike and I were sleeping together in the hallway on a pallet. My girlfriend was 'sleeping' on the sleeper sofa in the living room. She heard everything!! You can only imagine the conversation that went on with the first time having sex. The only thing I remember is that was a huge let down. It hurt and it was over in a flash. I was embarrassed to be naked with this guy and I didn't even want to look him in the face anymore. Eeeeeeeeeewwwww what was all the mystery about sex? He didn't treat me any better than before sex, that is until he wanted it again. I felt like I had to the next time...like I owed him or something. He would be my first, I would always remember the date and that I was sixteen. I think he ended up in prison later in life...seems like a pattern for me.
Once I broke the 'cherry' of not being a virgin anymore I continued to pursue finding out the mystery of it all. That same week I had sex with his best friend, same result. I never felt any better about myself and no one asked me out for a date. I felt bad about what I was doing but I hated myself anyway, so I continued to search for love in all the wrong places as they say. I never used any type of protection. I didn't care if I got pregnant because I wanted a baby. I thought if I had a baby I would finally have someone who loved me. I was lucky, no diseases, no babies.
Dad and Kathryn returned from their honeymoon and my dad's drinking started up again. Most of the time she would go with him to the bars. They seemed to be have a good time together. It also gave me time to run with my friends without being watched. I rode up and down Eldorado St with my friends in my dad's 1963 Rambler. It was two toned gold with reclining bucket seats and four doors. It was awful but I had wheels. We spent lots of time driving back and forth flirting with the boys but no one ever liked me. My dad's drinking started to get out of control again. More and more times he didn't come home after work and Kathryn would go out and look for him. My new life was starting to crumble once again. I was a senior in high school and by now I was sick of living with an alcoholic.
One night I had my dad's car and I was cruising Eldo with my girlfriend, when he and Kathryn flagged me down. They had had and argument and my dad wanted his car back. Kathryn took my friend home and I rode back to our house with her. I was embarrassed by my dad's drunken display. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going to live with the drinking yet again. My sister, Linda, was staying with us at the time. We talked about what had happened and she told me I could get an apartment with her.
I told my dad the next day, that I was moving out. I didn't want to live with his drinking anymore. He knew I was dead serious and agreed even though I was underage. Linda and I found an apartment in an old house on N Main St. It only had one bedroom but she worked nights at the post office and I went to school during the day. The rent was $72.00 per month and we split that. It was hard to come up with my half. I was going to school in the mornings and working at Soy Capital Bank in the afternoons and on Saturday. It wasn't even money so I also took a job working nights at the Colonial Pancake house. I would work until closing which was 2 a.m. and going to school in the morning. I wasn't a good waitress so I only lasted a few weeks.
Linda and I got along for the most part. She was dating, Bob at the time. I was still a strong willed child and not always easy to reckon with, I'm sure. We had fun being on our own. Our first Christmas we had a tree limb for our Christmas tree. It was like a Charlie Brown Christmas but I have never forgotten that silly ole tree, it was the best!
I was still experimenting with sex during that time. I was picking up strangers at the bus stop or at the pancake house. I still was struggling with trying to fit in. I wanted a boyfriend and I thought that was the way to do it. I never got a boyfriend that way only a string of one night stands. I am lucky no one ever hurt me during those times. I shudder to think of the danger I put myself in at such a vulnerable time.
I had continued my friendship with Kathy. Now she lived down the street from me. We had lots of fun. Linda and I had bought a car together so once again I had wheels. It was a 1960, Covair, blue exterior with a red steering wheel. If you drove faster than 30 mph the steering wheel would shake until you slowed down. It didn't matter to me because I had wheels! Kathy and I started to hang out with some of my friends from school. Jim and Steve were best buddies so we all drove around together. I had a crush on Steve and so did she. She cute and had a great build so it only stood to reason that Steve would like her. Once again, always the bridesmaid never the bride. Steve told me about a friend of his that he thought I would like, his name was Frank Fyke. I had no idea what was ahead of me!!
I had a friend also named Kathy, she had a brother named Mike. Kathy and I hung out a lot of the time. I spent lots of time at her mom's apartment. Her mom was sleeping with the landlord downstairs so we were alone most of the time in the apartment. Her brother had been flirting with me so I decided he was the one I would have sex with for the first time. It is so embarrassing to remember that first time. I used to make a lot of my own clothes so I made a pair of turquoise flannel jumpsuit pajamas with a zipper. Oh yes, for the glamour effect I added lace around the neck and sleeves. Oh did I mention, I also had my hair in sponge rollers, bright pink sponge rollers?
The apartment was very small just a kitchen and living room with a shared bathroom. Mike and I were sleeping together in the hallway on a pallet. My girlfriend was 'sleeping' on the sleeper sofa in the living room. She heard everything!! You can only imagine the conversation that went on with the first time having sex. The only thing I remember is that was a huge let down. It hurt and it was over in a flash. I was embarrassed to be naked with this guy and I didn't even want to look him in the face anymore. Eeeeeeeeeewwwww what was all the mystery about sex? He didn't treat me any better than before sex, that is until he wanted it again. I felt like I had to the next time...like I owed him or something. He would be my first, I would always remember the date and that I was sixteen. I think he ended up in prison later in life...seems like a pattern for me.
Once I broke the 'cherry' of not being a virgin anymore I continued to pursue finding out the mystery of it all. That same week I had sex with his best friend, same result. I never felt any better about myself and no one asked me out for a date. I felt bad about what I was doing but I hated myself anyway, so I continued to search for love in all the wrong places as they say. I never used any type of protection. I didn't care if I got pregnant because I wanted a baby. I thought if I had a baby I would finally have someone who loved me. I was lucky, no diseases, no babies.
Dad and Kathryn returned from their honeymoon and my dad's drinking started up again. Most of the time she would go with him to the bars. They seemed to be have a good time together. It also gave me time to run with my friends without being watched. I rode up and down Eldorado St with my friends in my dad's 1963 Rambler. It was two toned gold with reclining bucket seats and four doors. It was awful but I had wheels. We spent lots of time driving back and forth flirting with the boys but no one ever liked me. My dad's drinking started to get out of control again. More and more times he didn't come home after work and Kathryn would go out and look for him. My new life was starting to crumble once again. I was a senior in high school and by now I was sick of living with an alcoholic.
One night I had my dad's car and I was cruising Eldo with my girlfriend, when he and Kathryn flagged me down. They had had and argument and my dad wanted his car back. Kathryn took my friend home and I rode back to our house with her. I was embarrassed by my dad's drunken display. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going to live with the drinking yet again. My sister, Linda, was staying with us at the time. We talked about what had happened and she told me I could get an apartment with her.
I told my dad the next day, that I was moving out. I didn't want to live with his drinking anymore. He knew I was dead serious and agreed even though I was underage. Linda and I found an apartment in an old house on N Main St. It only had one bedroom but she worked nights at the post office and I went to school during the day. The rent was $72.00 per month and we split that. It was hard to come up with my half. I was going to school in the mornings and working at Soy Capital Bank in the afternoons and on Saturday. It wasn't even money so I also took a job working nights at the Colonial Pancake house. I would work until closing which was 2 a.m. and going to school in the morning. I wasn't a good waitress so I only lasted a few weeks.
Linda and I got along for the most part. She was dating, Bob at the time. I was still a strong willed child and not always easy to reckon with, I'm sure. We had fun being on our own. Our first Christmas we had a tree limb for our Christmas tree. It was like a Charlie Brown Christmas but I have never forgotten that silly ole tree, it was the best!
I was still experimenting with sex during that time. I was picking up strangers at the bus stop or at the pancake house. I still was struggling with trying to fit in. I wanted a boyfriend and I thought that was the way to do it. I never got a boyfriend that way only a string of one night stands. I am lucky no one ever hurt me during those times. I shudder to think of the danger I put myself in at such a vulnerable time.
I had continued my friendship with Kathy. Now she lived down the street from me. We had lots of fun. Linda and I had bought a car together so once again I had wheels. It was a 1960, Covair, blue exterior with a red steering wheel. If you drove faster than 30 mph the steering wheel would shake until you slowed down. It didn't matter to me because I had wheels! Kathy and I started to hang out with some of my friends from school. Jim and Steve were best buddies so we all drove around together. I had a crush on Steve and so did she. She cute and had a great build so it only stood to reason that Steve would like her. Once again, always the bridesmaid never the bride. Steve told me about a friend of his that he thought I would like, his name was Frank Fyke. I had no idea what was ahead of me!!
