(The dresses and pinafores that Mom made for Me, Linda and Janet)Janet and Linda shared a room in the basement. My other step-sister Sharon had a room to herself. She was about 12-13 when we became a blended family. Juanita's husband had also died, so we were house of 'orphaned' children. Janet, Linda and I huddled together often and cried. We missed our mother and our father was committed to his new family.
Dad was somehow able to get our house back on Riverside, but now we were a family of eight and we wouldn't fit into the 2 bedroom house. The house was remodeled and made much larger, another large bedroom was added in the basement. The basement became our new home. My sister's and I shared the room. It had a full size bed in each end of the room. Linda and Janet shared a bed and I had one to myself. Unfortunately, since I had the extra room in my bed my dad had to sleep with me when he was drunk. That happened more than I care to think about. He would fall asleep laying on me or pinning me against the concrete wall of the basement. I was scared, I was just a little girl. He would slobber on me and snore in my ear...those were sleepless nights for me. I would beg Juanita to not have him sleep with me...she would not listen.
Dad had built a bathroom for us in the basement also. It had a shower, toilet and sink, but the shower was never finished so we couldn't use it. I remember one time I sat on the sink and it came away from the wall. Dad was furious he use some kind of strap to tie it back into to place. It stayed that way for years, always a reminded of my mistake. The basement was also famous for big black water bugs. I hated them. There were bug guts all over the floor. The floor was red tile with white swirl marks through out, the walls were a light turquoise blue. We had metal wardrobes because he hadn't built closets in the rooms. We didn't have many clothes so it worked out fine for us.
On Saturdays we would play together exchanging holy cards from church like most people would exchange baseball cards. We played 'bus' on the steps, Janet was always the driver, Linda and I the passengers. We played house with blanket on the floor forming the walls of our home. We always played 'church' wearing blankets on our heads so we could be nuns or saints. We had religious statues on our dressers. Once I had a holy water fountain hanging on my wall by the door. I got holy water from church to fill it. I crossed myself every time I left my room hoping that God would protect me from Juanita. One day I came home from school and the holy water fountain had been taken down and I never saw it again. I knew better that to ask what happened to it. I was now on my own, I didn't think even God would be able to protect me now.
In the summer during the day we would get up early to clean the house. My step-sister's never had to help clean, just us. We cleaned every single day, but we weren't able to run the sweeper until they got up around noon. It was almost like living the life of Cinderella only there were three of us and no prince was looking for us! Once our chores were done and they were up for the day, we were locked outside to play until our parents came home. If we had to go to the bathroom we would ask to use the neighbors bathroom. The highlight our week was walking to the Bookmobile that parked at Eisner's. We loved to read it was our escape. I used to get yelled at for sitting under a shade tree reading my books. Juanita wanted me to be more active and run and play with the other kids. I have always said I was born lazy!
I remember always being hungry when we lived with them. When you have to feed 8 people there are not leftovers. Juanita was a good cook and made the best sweet tea ever. I know she used a cup of sugar per pitcher of tea. She was also diabetic and had only one kidney. She would have to go have dialysis from time to time. It was always scary it me, I thought she would die like my mom did. We had to go to bed very early at night even in the summer months. I had to go to bed at 7:15, Janet & Linda got to stay up a little later. It was always daylight when we went to bed. The neighbor kids would all come to the basement window to talk to us. After things quieted down we would take turns sneaking up to the kitchen to steal bread to eat in bed. It was scary when it was my turn. I feel like it was a scene out of Mission Impossible. We knew what side of the steps creaked so we knew just how to shift our weight to avoid making noise. Once in the kitchen you had to move very slowly breathing as lightly as possible so no one in the living room could hear you. The rooms were attached so it was just a matter of a wall separating us. The bread was in the bottom drawer. You had to inch the drawer open very slowly sneaking your hand in grabbing as much bread as one hand could grasp. We never got caught which is utterly amazing. I wonder what they thought was happening to all the bread. When we made it back down the stairs with our booty...we would all sit together on one bed and divide it amongst ourselves. We tore off the crust eating it first and then rolled the soft into a ball for gourmet dining. This was a very normal thing for us, we did it often. Sometimes after school when we got home before the older kids we would scour the cabinets looking for any food that wouldn't be missed. It was usually butter and syrup on a plate...no bread this time. We ate it by the spoonfuls and cleaned up our mess before we were ever discovered.
Dad had started drinking heavily again. We were alone with the other family most of the time. We were always in trouble. Juanita especially didn't like Janet. Janet was the oldest and she was very protective of us. She was like a mother lioness protecting her cubs. She had a mouth on her that usually got her punished the most. Juanita's favorite weapon was the plastic and wire fly swatter. She slapped us on our legs leaving welts from the metal part. It was so painful. We tried so hard to be good but nothing worked, everything set her off. She must have been overwhelmed herself. She had lost a good of husband of many years to now be married to the town drunk with three little girls. We knew that if it was payday usually Friday's it was going to be a bad night. Dad stopped by the tavern to cash his check and that turned into an all nighter. I remember one night all we had to eat was a can of peas. I choked back the tears trying to eat my peas while she told us what an asshole my dad was...I loved him.
He would come home and sometimes he would come downstairs to see us. It would be just the four of us crying. He would tell us that he loved us and it would be alright. Later he would go upstairs and the fighting would begin. Dad would end up pulling the phone out of the wall so we couldn't call the police. Juanita would make us go to the neighbors house to use the phone. Dad would get in the car and hide in the St Mary's parking lot so the police couldn't find him. This was 'normal' to us. We thought everyone lived like we did.
