Webster Hall...

I'm not sure how I got the status of Bully or Ringleader but that was my title. I was in trouble all the time but I didn't care. I liked be feared but the other girls. I remember even intimidating one of the housemother's, her name was Mrs Wampler. She didn't want us to play cards, dance or listen to music. She was tall and skinny with red hair, almost like the lady in Annie the play. One night when she went to bed, I crawled out onto the fire escape and scratched her screen window and made scary sounds. She came running out of her room and we were all doubled over in laughter. I think the thing that sent her over the top was the night she locked herself in her room. I threw jelly beans at her door, it sounded like bullets because it was a wooden door. She quit soon after that! I was always doing silly things that got me into trouble.

Since there were so many of us on the floor, 14 I think, we had to do things in order. We had to sign up for a time to shower or take a bath. We had to sign up to do our ironing or use the sewing machine. Everyone usually waited for me to choose than they would sign up for their times. It is almost embarrassing to remember these things but unfortunately they were true.
We were allotted 3 bras a year. They came from J C Penney's, they were stitched in circles on the cups. You had to iron your bra before you could wear them. If you didn't it looked like you had something scrunched up under your shirt. We didn't have many clothing choices back then. We had a clothing allowance of $7.00 a month. You could save your clothing allowance until you had enough to buy something you wanted. It didn't happen often. We could go to certain stores downtown and put our clothing on a type of "layaway" for Webster Hall. It was very embarrassing to have to do that because the salesgirl usually didn't know about the special plan. She would have to get the manager and the manager would whisper in her ear that we were from the home and it was okay. One time I saved my own money so I could buy a pair of hose. They hadn't invented pantyhose yet so we bought stockings. One of my friends had given me her old garter belt because she had gotten a new one. I went to Woolworths and purchased my nylons. I could hardly wait to go to church the next day because I could finally wear nylons instead of socks. Imagine my disappointment when I realized they had seams up the back. No one wore seams anymore...once again I wore socks to church.

There was a man named, Frank Tenney, who wanted to help all of us out. He must have been a wealthy man but I don't know what he did for a living. Twice a year he would buy everyone of us a pair of shoes. Once a year he would bring each one of us a gigantic Sugar Daddy candy in a big box. He was so cool. One time he had all of us out to his home/farm for a cookout. That was something really rare for us. He had sons that took turns taking us on dirt bikes, hay rides, etc. I remember it was so much fun. I always wanted to be like him, to help make a memory for someone.

Christmastime was always strange for us too. It was the one time a year we were allowed to go into the formal living room. It was a large room, green I think, with an upright piano that no one used. We would have made a list of what we wanted for Christmas and one of the upstanding 'ladies clubs' would adopt us for the day. They would all come at once so they could watch us open our gifts. I guess they got some kind of gratification out of seeing our faces. What they didn't know is that we practiced acting surprised and grateful before they got there. It was such a farce. Christmas had always been such a fun time when we were little but not anymore. None of us ever got toys, it was always clothing. I don't even remember having toys in the home. We did finally get a donated bike once. It had to make do for 40 girls so I didn't get to ride it very often. I have always tried to have the perfect Christmas since then but I can never get it right, it still leaves me feeling empty when it is over.

We didn't even enjoy the simple things in life when I lived there. We didn't have toothpaste instead we used a mixture of salt and baking soda on our teeth. We never had dental visits unless there was a problem. One night, it was Friday the 13th, I was watching scary movies with one other girl. It was time for me to go to bed, when I got up to leave she tripped me. I felt face first on the tiled floor. Unfortunately, my front teeth went directly into the tile. I chipped both of my front teeth. I looked like a vampire for years after that. I was taken to the dentist the next day but I didn't get them fixed because it was too expensive. They filed the points down so I wouldn't cut my lip. I would be in my 30's before they were capped and made to look normal. We didn't have real shampoo either, it was a mixture of a concentrate of some kind mixed with water. It was so watery it wouldn't even make a lather. I saved my money to buy mine own when I got older. Being a young girl, for years I had to make do with what was available.

I was overweight even as a young girl. I weighed 9lb 5oz when I was born and continued to blossom from there. I have pictures of myself at the age of 5 and I was a chunk then too. I was not an attractive girl and I knew it. I had fanged teeth and fat thighs. I thought I was the biggest person alive. I think I was a size 14-16 in high school, I wish I was that size now! To a young girl it was hard to look like me. No one ever asked me out on a date. I didn't go to prom or any of the dances. I just hung out with my girlfriends. I was great to hang out with because next to me everyone looked skinny and pretty. My low self esteem probably started in junior high.

I went to Catholic school from 1st to 7th grade. I was well behaved for the most part because the nuns wouldn't let you get away with much. I was also the girl that hung out under the fire escape teaching the other kids dirty limericks. When I was in 6th grade I was given the honor of being a playground supervisor. I loved being in charge. There was one 1st grader that cried all of the time. I decided to teach her a lesson. I put her in the center of a circle of other children and had them make fun of her. I thought she just needed to toughen up a little. That just happened to be the day her mother came to visit the school. She was able to witness the whole show. I was in BIG trouble. She grabbed my arm an threaten to tell my mother what I had done. I pulled the 'go ahead my mother is dead card'!! It worked, she shut up but I lost my job on the playground. Now how embarrassing is that??

Going to Catholic school was an adventure all in itself. I remember in 3rd grade my step-mother made me wear a sleeveless dress to school. We weren't allowed to wear sleeves in case a boy might look in our arm holes and see our flat chest. My step-mother was adamant that I wear that dress because she had bought it for school. I was scared to go into the classroom. Sister Walegudaus saw me as soon as I entered the room. I could feel her eyes looking at my naked arms, I felt the hair on my arms stand up straight. She got out of her chair and grabbed my arm. She took me into the cloakroom and shut the door. It was hot outside so there were no sweaters or coats in there for me to cover my arms. She looked up at the window and grabbed the drape. She took the drape and wrapped it around my shoulders and made me wear it all day like a shawl. I was so embarrassed. Juanita was really mad about it but I never had to wear that dress to school again.

Going to Catholic school for so many years really did not prepare you for the real world. The home had been lenient with me for my 6th and 7th grades at St James. We were the only Catholics in the home. Everyone went to Four Square Church on Sundays except for us. We walked to church every Sunday. I am not sure why I was allowed to go to school there but I was. I have a feeling someone in the church must have paid my way. I don't know why I wasn't able to go my 8th grade year but I didn't attend St James that year. I finished my last year of junior high at John's Hill Jr High. I had never went to school with black people before. I was scared of them. I had heard horrid things about them and no one in the home was black. When we walked home from school we always walked in a group. We were afraid that they would bother us if we were alone. One time I got detention for something or another; but when it came time to stay after school I cried the whole time. The teacher felt sorry for me and let me out of detention. I ran all the way until I caught up with our group of girls. I was afraid they would beat me up if I was alone. I never got detention again my whole life.