Frank & me having funLife as a bride and wife was certainly different than what I had thought it would be. Frank came back around the next day and acted like nothing had happened. I wanted to talk about it and find out what I had done wrong so I wouldn't repeat my actions, but Frank was not a talker.
I would make dinner for him after I got home from work. He was now working as an oil change serviceman at the local Pontiac dealership. My cousin worked there so he gave him the job to help us out. I was still working at the bank trying to act as if my life was a happy one. I continued to grow larger and larger with my baby. I could no longer wear my precious wedding band because my hands were too swollen. If fact, I never wore it again and in the later years I sold it to buy a winter coat!
As I have said before Frank, was a very picky eater. I wasn't a good cook but I knew how to cook. Our apartment was small but the kitchen had two doors, one on each end of the room. I was standing at the stove stirring gravy in the skillet. I put salt and pepper in the mix and after stirring once again I tasted it. I put the spoon back in the gravy after I tasted it. Frank had been standing at the other door and I didn't see him. I heard him holler my name and I looked up, like I had been caught breaking in to the bank vault. He did not want to eat anything that had touched my lips! He knew I had the spoon in my mouth so I had to throw the whole thing away. He left in a huff as usual. It was his habit to leave me alone and drive for hours around town. Sometimes stopping to visit his friends. He wanted me to severe all ties with my family and friends, so I did. I had friends that lived in the same apartment building with us but he didn't want me to see them either. Sometimes when he went to work I would sneak upstairs to visit my girlfriends anyway. He didn't want me to talk to anyone on the phone either. If I was home he would call on his break to make sure the phone line wasn't busy.
The first 6 months of our marriage, I spent alone at night. He would go to his mothers apartment after work to shower and change his clothes. He would then come over for dinner and to watch TV with me. Around 10:00 pm he would go for a ride and then back to his mother's apartment to sleep. He would be back in the mornings for breakfast and to pick up the lunch that I had fixed. I did all of his laundry accept for his underwear, his mother still did those. It was really strange and I knew it. I felt it must be my fault that he didn't want to stay with me. I was embarrassed to tell anyone what was going on in my life. I knew it was wrong but I thought that that was all I deserved in life.
My baby continued to grown in my belly and I was thrilled. Frank loved to feel her moving around. It was exciting and scary all at the same time. He never went to any of my doctor's appointments with me. I gained 42 lbs with this baby. When we married I weighed around 165 lbs now I was over 200 lbs! The dresses I had worn in the beginning of my pregnancy were now worn as blouses. I never took any prenatal classes and I knew nothing about giving birth. No one had ever told me anything at all. Lamaze classes were really popular at that time but I didn't get to take any of them.
I was always responsible for all of the chores in the house. Frank sat in his chair while I waited on him hand and foot. To be fair, I will say that I started that pattern of life. I thought that is what a 'good' wife was supposed to do. There was no 50/50 plan in our house. I brought Frank his food on a TV tray. I even cut his meat for him, making sure not an ounce of fat was on it. I made sure the food wasn't touching and I definitely did not 'taste' the food before serving it. I had without knowing become a shell of the girl I had once been. I was no longer fun and outgoing. I was quiet and withdrawn. I comforted myself with my best friend, food.
I was doing the weekly shopping at Kmart, it was New Years Day 1972. I had gone to the store all by myself as usual. I was 8 months pregnant and shopping was hard. I had to pick up cases of pop to buy for Frank. I will tell you now, I put myself in this position, I asked nothing of him and he gave me nothing in return. We had been married for six months at this time. Frank walked up behind me in the grocery aisle. I was shocked! I didn't ever expect to see in there. He took my hand and told me from that day on things were going to be different. He was going to start living with me and being my husband. I was in disbelief but I was thrilled.
I came home that night and he was there. When it came to the bewitching hour of 10 pm he didn't leave. Instead he headed for the shower and came out a few minutes later. He was wrapped in a towel. He dropped the towel and stood before me naked. I just looked at him. He said, "this is the way I look", I still just sat there. I said okay. It was the first time I had ever seen him completely naked. I don't know what he thought I was going to do but I just sat there. He later told me if I had laughed he would have left me. It turns out he too was embarrassed by his body. I didn't know that men thought like that too! I think I fell in love with him that night. He too, like me, was vulnerable.
Our life really did change after that. We were a family. We were living like normal married people and I was truly happy.
I would make dinner for him after I got home from work. He was now working as an oil change serviceman at the local Pontiac dealership. My cousin worked there so he gave him the job to help us out. I was still working at the bank trying to act as if my life was a happy one. I continued to grow larger and larger with my baby. I could no longer wear my precious wedding band because my hands were too swollen. If fact, I never wore it again and in the later years I sold it to buy a winter coat!
As I have said before Frank, was a very picky eater. I wasn't a good cook but I knew how to cook. Our apartment was small but the kitchen had two doors, one on each end of the room. I was standing at the stove stirring gravy in the skillet. I put salt and pepper in the mix and after stirring once again I tasted it. I put the spoon back in the gravy after I tasted it. Frank had been standing at the other door and I didn't see him. I heard him holler my name and I looked up, like I had been caught breaking in to the bank vault. He did not want to eat anything that had touched my lips! He knew I had the spoon in my mouth so I had to throw the whole thing away. He left in a huff as usual. It was his habit to leave me alone and drive for hours around town. Sometimes stopping to visit his friends. He wanted me to severe all ties with my family and friends, so I did. I had friends that lived in the same apartment building with us but he didn't want me to see them either. Sometimes when he went to work I would sneak upstairs to visit my girlfriends anyway. He didn't want me to talk to anyone on the phone either. If I was home he would call on his break to make sure the phone line wasn't busy.
The first 6 months of our marriage, I spent alone at night. He would go to his mothers apartment after work to shower and change his clothes. He would then come over for dinner and to watch TV with me. Around 10:00 pm he would go for a ride and then back to his mother's apartment to sleep. He would be back in the mornings for breakfast and to pick up the lunch that I had fixed. I did all of his laundry accept for his underwear, his mother still did those. It was really strange and I knew it. I felt it must be my fault that he didn't want to stay with me. I was embarrassed to tell anyone what was going on in my life. I knew it was wrong but I thought that that was all I deserved in life.
My baby continued to grown in my belly and I was thrilled. Frank loved to feel her moving around. It was exciting and scary all at the same time. He never went to any of my doctor's appointments with me. I gained 42 lbs with this baby. When we married I weighed around 165 lbs now I was over 200 lbs! The dresses I had worn in the beginning of my pregnancy were now worn as blouses. I never took any prenatal classes and I knew nothing about giving birth. No one had ever told me anything at all. Lamaze classes were really popular at that time but I didn't get to take any of them.
I was always responsible for all of the chores in the house. Frank sat in his chair while I waited on him hand and foot. To be fair, I will say that I started that pattern of life. I thought that is what a 'good' wife was supposed to do. There was no 50/50 plan in our house. I brought Frank his food on a TV tray. I even cut his meat for him, making sure not an ounce of fat was on it. I made sure the food wasn't touching and I definitely did not 'taste' the food before serving it. I had without knowing become a shell of the girl I had once been. I was no longer fun and outgoing. I was quiet and withdrawn. I comforted myself with my best friend, food.
I was doing the weekly shopping at Kmart, it was New Years Day 1972. I had gone to the store all by myself as usual. I was 8 months pregnant and shopping was hard. I had to pick up cases of pop to buy for Frank. I will tell you now, I put myself in this position, I asked nothing of him and he gave me nothing in return. We had been married for six months at this time. Frank walked up behind me in the grocery aisle. I was shocked! I didn't ever expect to see in there. He took my hand and told me from that day on things were going to be different. He was going to start living with me and being my husband. I was in disbelief but I was thrilled.
I came home that night and he was there. When it came to the bewitching hour of 10 pm he didn't leave. Instead he headed for the shower and came out a few minutes later. He was wrapped in a towel. He dropped the towel and stood before me naked. I just looked at him. He said, "this is the way I look", I still just sat there. I said okay. It was the first time I had ever seen him completely naked. I don't know what he thought I was going to do but I just sat there. He later told me if I had laughed he would have left me. It turns out he too was embarrassed by his body. I didn't know that men thought like that too! I think I fell in love with him that night. He too, like me, was vulnerable.
Our life really did change after that. We were a family. We were living like normal married people and I was truly happy.
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